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Just For Laughs : Funny Car Names

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AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
All Un-informed Drivers Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed


BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster


BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer


CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time


DODGE
Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere


FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill


GM
General Maintenance


GMC
Garage Man’s Companion


HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto


HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive?


MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along


OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment


SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back


TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto


VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object


VW
Virtually Worthless

Just For Laughs : Funny Excident

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Just For Laughs : Entrance Exam For Football Players

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You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.


1. What language is spoken in France?


2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.


3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY


4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic


5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?


6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?


7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)


8. What are people in America’s far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS


9. Spell — CAT, DOG, PIG


10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.


EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.

Just For Laughs : Funny Pictures

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Just For Laughs : Funny Pictures

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The bed shown in the picture above is for one person only.So if you roll over on this bed, you will fall down….

Similar to a photomosaic, which is a large picture made up of many small ones, this Mona Lisa is made up hundreds of computer parts instead. Titled Technology Smiling, the artwork was displayed at a technology exhibition last Thursday in Beijing.

Just For Laughs : Sexy Girl Funny Prank

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Just For Laughs : Computer Terminology

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ISDN - It Still Does Nothing


APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity


IBM - I Blame Microsoft


WWW - World Wide Wait


PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math


NT - Network Tragedy


DNS - Does Nothing Special


WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

Just For Laughs : IT guys and the genie

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Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says 'Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.'



The hardware engineer went first. I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in Shimla with no money worries. The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to Shimla.



The software engineer went next. I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries. The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.



Last, but not the least, it was the project manager's turn. 'And what would your wish be?' asked the genie.



I want them both back after lunch replied the project manager.

Just For Laughs : Funny And Silly

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Just For Laughs : Funny Chess Games

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"To the Battle.....!!!!!"

Just For Laughs : Types of BRA

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Types of BRA

Poisonous BRA --- coBRA


Mathemetical BRA---- algeBRA


striped BRA---- zeBRA


strongestBRA---- vertiBRA


sunsignBRA---- liBRA


magical(invisible)BRA---aBRA ka daBRA



Just For Laughs : Animals Never Ending

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Animals Never Ending



Just For Laughs : Crazy Dogies Funny Videos

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Just For Laughs : Project Manager VS Programmer

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,


'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'


The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, Hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'


'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.


'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'


'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is Technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the fact is I am still lost.'


The man below says, 'You must be a project manager 'I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'


'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where You are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.'

Just For Laughs Videos: Australia Funny

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Just For Laughs : The success of marriage

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The success of marriage

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".


Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: " We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".


She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.


When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!


I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"


She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"


Husband: "That's it. We are happy ever after."

Just For Laughs : Maths

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Maths

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:


"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "


His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.


His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.


The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."

Just For Laughs : Download Free Funny Video

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Just For Laughs : Funny Picture

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Cost cutting Ground Transport




Waiting for Windows to reboot




Oh Oh, thats my new laptop not a weighing scale


Just For Laughs : Lawyer joke

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Lawyer joke

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.

In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,"
The lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked
on eagerly.

A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said,"Actually, I made up the previous statement.
But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but we noted that your client didn't."

Just For Laughs : Funny Pictures

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Sheikhs special reserved parking



What was she thinking?




Laughing car...




Nice sandal bike...

Just For Laughs : Psychiatrists sharing problems

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Psychiatrists sharing problems


A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.

Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."

The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."

Just For Laughs : Titanic is going to be drowned....

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Titanic is going to be drowned....

"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...."

Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby bholaji in the ship.

Italian : How far is land, from here ?

bholaji : Two miles ..

Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.

The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.

Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?

bholaji : Downwards ...!

Just For Laughs : Funny Model Makes You Laugh!

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Funny Model Makes You Laugh!




- Watch the top videos of the week here




Just For Laughs : Optical Illusion

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Is it a smiling or a crying mask?



Cat Or Dinner ??

Just For Laughs : Hearing aid

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Hearing aid


A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

*

*

*

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!






Just For Laughs : Stupid Robbery

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So,you think he can Robbed her hearts ???


Funny Commercial: Stupid Robbery - More free videos are here


Just For Laughs : Careful about your dreams....

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Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.

"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St.Peter, and you are in heaven."

"WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die.....I'm too young." said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own..."
Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen." Harry replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna blow........then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said.
"How does it feel?"
"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??"
"No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.

"Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all over the bed!"

Just For Laughs : Real Funny Video

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Im Really2 likes This Video,i dun know why???


Funny! - Watch the best video clips here

Just For Laughs : Eyes On Picture

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COLLECTION OF WEIRD & STRANGE PICTURE





Just For Laughs : Little Moments Of Joy

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JUST FOR LAUGHS : LITTLE MOMENTS OF JOY

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry.


Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

"Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said.

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient at the end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, ...but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Just For Laughs : Eyes On Picture

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COLLECTION OF WEIRD AND STRANGE PICTURE








Just For Laughs : Mystery

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Mr. Angry or Mr. Calm face. Move about 12 feet away from the monitor and see the faces interchange


Just For Laughs : Random

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Just For Laughs : Speed

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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. He thinks to himself, "this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand,I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two kilometers an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 was the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer.
We just got off Highway 189" !!!!!