JUST FOR LAUGHS ENTERTAINMENT

Desperate Public Toilet!!!

2011-11-30T08:53:00.001-08:00

Most Expensive House In The World!!!

2011-11-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

5 - Hearst Mansion, Beverly Hills - $165 million

4 - Fairfield Pond, The Hamptons - $170 million

3 - One Hyde Park, The Penthouse, London - $200 million

2 - Villa Leopolda, Cote d'Azur France - $525 million

1 - Antilla, Mumbai - $1 billion!!!

400,000 square feet (37,000 m²) of living space.
Parking space for 168 cars.
A one-floor vehicle maintenance facility.
9 elevators in the lobby.
1 helipad and an air traffic control facility.
Health spa, yoga studio, small theater with a seating capacity for 50 on the eighth floor, multiple swimming pools, three floors of hanging gardens, and a ballroom.
An ice room infused with man-made snow flurries.

Creative House

2011-11-30T08:44:00.001-08:00

Best Photo Snap Technique!!

2011-11-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

Stork

Dancer

Eiffel Tower

Got you now!

Touch

Holding her

Dee blows off some steam

Waterfall Trap

Washington D.C

Revenge

Mushroom

The Curse Beyond Erotic Tree

2011-11-28T05:52:00.000-08:00

Can you feel that..Can you see that!!! hahahaha..

Maps That Never Been Told!!

2011-11-28T05:48:00.001-08:00

Have you ever ponder, how smart are your fellow countrymen compared to the other nations? And nobody taught you that in school? Well, we collected a list of offbeat and fun maps that will answer your questions!

World Map of The Penis Size Worldwide

The Breast Cup Size Worldwide

World Map of Happiness

World Map of Social Networks

Nuclear Power Plants Worldwide

World Map of National IQ Scores

Just For Laugh : How to Pick Up

2010-05-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

How to Pick Up

Just For Laugh : Reality Shows

2010-05-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

Reality Shows

Just For Laugh : Knockout Kiss

2010-05-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

Knockout Kiss

Just For Laughs : Check Your Kid's Homework

2009-12-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

Check Your Kid's Homework

Here's the message the teacher received the next day:

Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Just For Laughs : Funny Airplane Commercial

2009-12-30T22:45:00.000-08:00

Just For Laughs :Why Men Are Happier

2009-12-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Just For Laughs : What A Girl Gurl Gerl

2009-12-30T11:54:00.000-08:00

Blonde Chick Konks Friend On Head At Slumber Party

Funny - Funny Videos

Just For Laughs : Things Girls Don't Know

2009-12-30T11:27:00.000-08:00

Things Girls Don't Know

Things Girl's Don't Know

Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try. (trust me on this one)

2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. (even the pimps)

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. =]

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him. (yeah, and it's usually something stupid )

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method. (oh yes! what guy has not tried this one?)

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. (yeah, so stop calling 300 guys a day)

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. (yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day)

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch-- Goodbye. (yeah so stop calling 300 guys a day and work on your personality)

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out. ( i can't really add anything to this one)

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses. (i wonder if it's the other way around too?)

11. Guys are very open about themselves (and if their not about something they have a damn good reason)

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him more than anything else. (Advice is appreciated though =]

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. (yep, it goes back to that kindergarden kid that was poking the girl he liked with a stick, all the other guy's saw and thought "wow that's a damn good idea!"

14. Guys love you more than you love them. ( yessir)

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot. ( this is true)

16. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key. (nice asses or boobs sure help though, don't get me wrong!)

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped. (yeah, if your not compassionate, your insensitive, but if your too compassionate your gay....)

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant. (we really do, beleive it or not)

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. (and what guy hasn't done something stupid?)

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside. (this is always true )

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that. (so we mean it when we say it)

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." (it's pretty much the only thing we say that means something else, so know it.)

23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. (yeah dude, seriously!)

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them. (yeah, it's really annoying when you compliment a girl on her looks and then end up arguing with her!)

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. (unless were just spacing out. so check to see if were blinking)

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes. (so get a telescope)

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily. (oh yes.)

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. (it's actually true!)

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them. (it's very strange)

30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. (no way! well maybe leftly, but not mr. right!...okay yes mr. right...)

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it. (yeah, so remember, if we seem overwellmed and we don't ask for help, offer it. we'll accept it)

32. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of them...just most. good guys' are a dieing breed. (i blame the damn hippies)

33. Guy's love it when girls talk about their boobs. (haha oh yes)

34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually (yeah so avoid guys who do that, they almost always turn out to be Assholes)

35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs. (this is actually true! i didn't think i was but i tested it! so we don't admit it or even crack a smile we just grab your arms and pull them away...lol)

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts. (so true, especially after a rough day..)

37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible. ( remember this one )

38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probaly still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life. (this is very true. takes us guys a long time to get over you girls. can you blame us? your awesome!)

Just For Laughs : Uhhh...what did she just say?? Miss Teen South Carolina 2007

2009-12-29T21:16:00.000-08:00

Miss Teen South Carolina 2007 tries to answer a question.

Video hosted by youtube.com

Just For Laughs : Banned Bud-Lite Commercial

2009-12-29T21:06:00.000-08:00

Video hosted by youtube.com

Just For Laughs : The Wedding Invitation

2009-12-29T21:04:00.000-08:00

Just For Laughs : Spooky Tree

2009-12-29T21:01:00.000-08:00

This would be goog to scare kids on Halloween

Just For Laughs : Competitive Advertising

2009-12-29T11:09:00.000-08:00

Invisible wars carefully hidden behind smartly chosen words and images.

Pssst…

I bet you didn’t know eggs have dreams…

or you could call them nightmares… so it’s not always worth it.

The good thing is that change is possbile.

And what it really matters is that… even hell has its standards.

Like best cars have…

or computers…

Maybe it’s time for a change…

to stop having nightmares…

***

(Neotel building and Do, their competition)

Just For Laughs : Scream For Ice Cream

2009-12-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

“I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted – stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container.” Bill Bryson

Why do we love ice cream that much? Maybe because it’s the best food for soul.

A draught of vintage,

u ai

masters of today,

Hyundai i10 Ice Cream Van - Source: Autoblog

a bit too tasty and just a little weird…

” I shall remember that sundae all my life. In a sumptuous confectioner’s shop, light, airy, full of fragrance, we were served with a mountain of coffee ice cream, sprinkled with cream and scattered with walnuts, honey, peanuts, and various fruits. When I carried the first spoonful to my mouth…my taste buds experienced a violent ecstasy. A whole opera of sensation rolled off my tongue…“Henri Troyat

And now, just sit and enjoy.

Just For Laughs : Chopsticks Art

2009-12-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

I rarely enter a Chinese restaurant, therefore, I rarely need to use chopsticks… But as you can imagine, the very few times I have had the chance… I have never ever been able to eat with them.

Even I’m not the best in using chopsticks, many, many other people are. As studies show a huge quantity of single-use chopsticks, billions of them, are consumed every year. Almost 25 million trees and bamboo plants are needed. So, in order to avoid such waste, people started recycling them. An example would be Kwytza Recycled Chopstick Art – a store offering for sale some of the most unique chopstick crafts, from lamps to bags and jewellery.

Source © Kwytza Chopstick Art

Leaving on the side the marine exihibition, another use for chopsticks, and the funniest that human mind could ever imagine is the amazing Japanese bra. Campaign for Triumph International Japan: the environmentally-friendly concept bra called “My Chopsticks Bra”.

Source © Day Life & Techchee

Just For Laughs : Strip Prank

2009-10-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

strip prank

Just For Laughs :The Kissing Booth

2009-10-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

The Kissing Booth

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs :Another Day At Work

2009-10-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

Another Day At Work

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Best Man Epileptic Seizure During Wedding

2009-10-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : eBay Delivery Prank

2009-10-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

eBay Delivery Prank

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Parenting Guide

2009-10-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

Parenting Guide

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Hypnotist thief stole money from cash register video clip

2009-10-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Funny weight lifting prank in a gym video clip

2009-10-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Hot Dentist Cleavage Prank

2009-10-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Frog In Hot Girls Cleavage Prank

2009-10-11T11:25:00.001-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : The Last Word

2009-10-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Last Word

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Baby Laughing

2009-10-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Baby Laughing

Baby laughs and falls over

Video hosted by myspacetv.com

Baby Laughs And Falls Over

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Why I Got Fired...

2009-10-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Why I Got Fired...

For the last company picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person. I was fired for ordering the cups.

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : The Gamer Car

2009-10-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

The Gamer Car

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : David Copperfield- Funny Duck Magic

2009-10-11T04:24:00.000-07:00

David Copperfield- Funny Duck Magic

Video hosted by youtube.com

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Ok Go, On Treadmills

2009-10-11T04:21:00.000-07:00

Ok Go, On Treadmills

Ok Go singing "Here It Goes Again" while dancing around on treadmills.

Video hosted by youtube.com

FACT: It was taken in one shot!

Just For Laughs : Free to a Good Home

2009-10-11T04:19:00.000-07:00

Free to a Good Home

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Wishful Thinking

2009-10-11T04:14:00.000-07:00

Wishful Thinking

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : African Slaves For Sale...??

2009-10-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

African Slaves For Sale...

...On eBay? WTF? Please Stop This !!!! Humanity...Humanity...Humanity...

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Kids Books Life Lessons

2009-10-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

Kids Books Life Lessons

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Sniper Fox Ya Reeeeba Ya Reeebaaa!!

2009-10-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

sniper fox

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laughs : Redneck Out Of Birthday Candy

2009-10-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

Redneck Out Of Birthday Candy

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Domain Name Changed

2009-05-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

"...This blog domain have been changed from www.justforlaughvideo.blogspot.com to new one (www.justforlaughvideo.co.cc)..." Have a nice day !!!

Just For Laugh : Spring break mistake

2009-05-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Spring break mistake

Super cute babe!

Video hosted by youtube.com

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : I am Extremely...

2009-05-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

I am Extremely...

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Prank

2009-05-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

Prank

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Ebay

2009-05-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Just Do Do Do Eat...

2009-05-19T15:19:00.000-07:00

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Is it Jack?

2009-05-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

Two drunk men come out from the bar and while they are walking they see a droped man on the street. The first one says, \"Is this Jack?\" The other one says, \"Yes, it\'s him.\" So they decided to carry him home. When they arrived they put him in bed and come out but they find him laying against the door. They say, \"What??? We just put him in bed.\" So they tried and tried and every time the same problem happens. Finally they decided to ask his neighbor, \"Hey man, is this Jack?\" He says, \"Yes.\" \"Ok, does he live here?\" the men say. \"Yes.\" \"Is this his falt?\" \"Yes\" \"Is this the bed room?\" \"Yes\" They get angry and shouted, \"Ok is this the bed!?!\" The man says, \"No, its the window.\"

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Just For Laugh : Property

2009-05-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

A man was having affair with his friend\'s wife in his friend\'s appartment. They\'ve got to the sweetest moment and they didn\'t realise the presence of the husband. The husband cleared his throat to alert them. the man quickly woke up and was running away. The husband stopped him and asked him to collect his dress. he did and continue running. He reached the door and stopped. He was coming back to the room when the husband stopped him and asked:

Husband: hey! man what do you want again?
man: i forgot to wipe up the seed from the woman.
Husband: And how do you do that?
man: i was thinking of using a foam around my penis and insert it into the woman.
Husband: The first one was so sweet and you want to go the second round. idiot get away. I will wipe it out myself.

just for laugh
laugh
laughing
laughter
funny video
laugh video
video

Laugh+Funny+Jokes+Humor : Hopelessly Addicted To Twitter

2009-05-17T02:14:00.000-07:00

Funny - Funny Videos

Laugh+Funny+Jokes+Humor : Couple Pregnant

2009-05-17T02:03:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Horny Car...Sucksss!!!

2009-05-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs Video : Boyfriend With Health Benefits

2009-05-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

Funny - Funny Videos

Uhhhhhh..My Ball...Error..Error..

2009-05-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

Where Are My Chips : Big Boob Hiding

2009-05-15T13:41:00.000-07:00

Funny - Funny Videos

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Childproof Drawer

2009-04-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Childproof Drawer

If you have a baby and you don't feel like taking the time to childproof your entire house then you could always use this primitive safety method.

Video hosted by Marang Perapu Kepunden Maran Sekeperrr

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Tips for A Successful Poker Night

2009-04-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Tips for A Successful Poker Night

1. Tell your wife it's a book club - one that is solely concerned with the nuances of the letters J, Q, K, and A.

2. It is common etiquette - after you shuffle - to offer the deck for cutting. Offering to cut the cheese, not so much.

3. Consider playing with huge stacks of Zimbabwean currency to get that whole "High Stakes" vibe.

4. Avoid cliched "Western Garb" - especially showing up in chaps only.

5. Although "chip tricks" are a fun way to pass the time, continually pulling them out of your friend's nose is a good way to get banned from the game.

6. Serve proper snacks: chips, nuts and pretzels. Improper snacks: Mongolian Hot Pot, brie with pear slices lightly brushed with virgin olive oil.

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Happy Friendship "Twilight"

2009-04-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

Your Friendship

Hot And Sexy Cute Babe : Hey,Look It First !!!

2009-04-03T12:18:00.001-07:00

Spring break mistake

Super cute babe!

Video hosted by youtube.com

Just For Laughs Funny : Bathroom Break

2009-04-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

Bathroom Break

Lifeguard needs a bathroom break. See what happens next!

Video hosted by metacafe.com

Bathroom Break - Funny bloopers are a click away

At least he's letting everyone know what he's doing! I bet half the people in the pool did the same thing!

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Airplane Problems

2009-04-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

Airplane Problems

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit. Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield. Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud. Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield. Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing. Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny. Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums. Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit. Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : My Lovely Death

2009-04-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

ooooops

Warning : Only For Hyper Tension Person !!!

2009-04-02T03:54:00.000-07:00

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Amy Winehouse Through The Years

2009-04-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse Through The Years

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs :Sprinkler Fun

2009-04-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

Sprinkler Fun

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : How To Spot A Millionaire

2009-04-02T02:45:00.000-07:00

Texas Chili Contest

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who has visited from Springfield IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judges table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge 3)

Chili #1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili

>Judge #1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

>Judge #2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

>Judge #3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint on my driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!

Chili #2 Austin's Afterburner Chili

>Judge #1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

>Judge #2 -- Exiting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

>Judge #3 -- Keep this out of reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili #3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

>Judge #1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

>Judge #2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

>Judge #3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my back bone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all the beer...

Chili #4 Dave's Black Magic

>Judge #1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

>Judge #2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

>Judge #3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili #5 Lisa’s Legal Lip Remover

>Judge #1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

>Judge #2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

>Judge #3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off may forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili #6 Pam’s Very Vegetarian Variety

>Judge #1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

> Judge #2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

> Judge #3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili #7 Carla’s Screaming Sensation Chili

>Judge #1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

>Judge #2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last minute. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

>Judge #3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are filled with lave to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing; it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8 Karen’s Toenail Curling Chili

>Judge #1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

>Judge #2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to REALLY hot chili.

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus

2009-04-02T02:41:00.000-07:00

Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:

You know the book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).

English 44A

SMU

Creative Writing

Prof. Miller

In class Assignment for Wednesday:

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached. And now, the Assignment as submitted by

Rebecca & Gary:

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...". But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for physically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?", she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu-udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu-udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : Baby Need Practice

2009-04-02T02:38:00.000-07:00

Practice

At least we know he's not gay

Jokes+Funny+Humor+Laughs : How To Spot A Millionaire

2009-04-02T02:29:00.000-07:00

How To Spot A Millionaire

Just For Laughs : A Little Guy

2008-11-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'

The poor little guy starts crying.

'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying.

“This is the worst day of my life,” says the little guy between sobs. “I can't do anything right.” “I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.”

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me.

So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

Just For Laughs : Great Open Eye World Record

2008-11-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

President Obama

2008-11-14T08:25:00.000-08:00

Just For Laughs : Peek A Boooo !!!!

2008-11-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

Just For Laughs : Not The Target

2008-09-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

The Bank Robbery

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'

The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing nearby. He asked the man, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did.'

Just For Laughs : Beckham Hidden Camera

2008-09-21T00:21:00.001-07:00

Busted Beckham!

Just For Laughs : You Suck !!!

2008-09-21T00:18:00.001-07:00

You Suck!

Just For Laughs : Sexy Pepsi

2008-09-17T00:05:00.001-07:00

pepsi......

hmm...... not sure if i want to drink that.....

Just For Laughs : Jump Rope

2008-09-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Jump rope

Awesome bag

Just For Laughs : Street 3D Drawing

2008-09-16T06:52:00.000-07:00

Cool Sidewalk Art.

Just For Laughs : Pavement drawing

2008-09-16T06:42:00.000-07:00

Hes damn good

look the people are moving so they dont fall!!!

Just For Laughs : Essay Errors

2008-09-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes.

He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assassinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical ompositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.

The invention of the steam-boat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.

Madman Curie is covered the radio.

And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

Just For Laughs : Hot dog parking

2008-09-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Naked Neighbor

2008-09-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Amy G - Kazoo

2008-09-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Printer Problems

2008-09-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Employee Evaluation

2008-08-23T04:31:00.000-07:00

Be sure to read through to the bottom...

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended

6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be

11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

Just For Laughs : Heart doc vs engine mechanic

2008-08-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... .

He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".

Just For Laughs : Let You Guess It

2008-08-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

Though guy riding a bike or ... ???

Just For Laughs : Project Management Lesson Number 1

2008-08-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Funny Water Accidents

2008-08-18T15:20:00.000-07:00

This video are very pleasant . I do not know why when I see this video, I laugh till cry . Hope you will enjoy this video. Hahahaha ....

Just For Laughs : The Emotivecons

2008-08-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : He is a very smart dog

2008-08-10T00:42:00.001-07:00

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

Just For Laughs : Dr Cranium explains pornography

2008-08-10T00:37:00.001-07:00

Just For Laughs : There was just a dog fight

2008-08-10T00:32:00.000-07:00

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."

"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"

"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

Just For Laughs : I Have The Ball

2008-08-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

Just For Laughs : Three very tough mice

2008-08-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

Just For Laughs : A good chess player

2008-08-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

Just For Laughs : Funny Videos Collection 01

2008-08-06T00:07:00.001-07:00